Lights, Camera, Action: League Assignment

So I took a break from blogging. I had some family issues that needed my attention. After dealing with all that nonsense, I was looking forward to just chillin like Bob Dylan, sipping on some beers as I read some comics, watched the Yankees and look for more additions to my growing collection. But no, the lure of the League draws me back like a fly to an electric zapper, wanting to be the cheesey hambone showoff that I am.

So, as I returned to the spotlight that is so richly mine, I get handed this assignment from our esteemed leader, Brian:

Television executives have determined that you lead an amazing life and have pegged you as the next big reality TV star. What’s the name and the premise of your show?

Well, after much thinking, consulting with the stars, meditating with Sexy Sadie (Beatles reference) and swiming with the sharks, I would have name my show what my mom calls my collection:

Mike's Bunch Of Crap

I mean, the title works. To most people, what I have would be a bunch of crap, but to me it's treasure and I'm like Captain Jack Sparrow, I am drawn to treasure....and rum.

The show would be pure Mikey. The viewers would watch as I go to Toys R Us to pick up the latest Spider-Man toy or follow me to Walmart as I fight with a woman and her 8 year old for the Walmart Exclusive Avengers Hulk figure. See me as I anxiously await the final minutes of my ebay bid for the vintage Batman Soakie bottle and look at my frustration as a sniper comes in with 2 seconds left to out bid me for it. See as I go to Yankee Stadium and beg a ballplayer 20 years my junior for his autograph and see me explode into a venomus cobra as I am rejected for the scribble I need. Come with me as me and occasional guest star, my buddy George, go to diffrent comic cons, toy shows and sports card conventions looking to uncover the "Wow" factor. See me as I perform my legendary Pee Pee dance when as I find a vintage 1968 Justice League comic for 5 bucks because the dealer bought it to a Sports Card show. Watch in sheer horror and disgust as I watch Collector Intervention and drool over Elyse Luray while wearing wayyyyy to small Batman Underoos and Taz slippers...ok, maybe we won't be seeing that. Plus, I want an english narrator describing the action as it happens like those old Jacques Cousteau/Natural Geographic shows: "As the collector walks down the aisle of Toys R Us, he spots his prey. A mint in the box Star Wars Luke Skywalker Green F/X Lightsaber and it is the last one. A few paces away, another collector spots the box and a struggle ensues. The first collector, unsportingly, knees his competitor in the groin and rushes off with his prize." This show just sells it's self.

I'm pretty sure a bidding frenzy would ensue over the show. I can see channels such as A&E, SciFi, NatGeo, Travel Channel, Spike and Bronx Public Access getting in on the action until TLC wins the battle for the right to broadcast the show. It would win it's time slot, making yours truly a reality star until I get arrested for buying a mexican bootleg of a Batman figure. I would be kicked off the air and would be resorted to panhandling in the streets of Manhattan with a sign that reads: Will Buy Toys For Money.

Honey Boo Boo ain't got jack on me.

If you enjoyed this blog, please check out blogs from my fellow League Members which are bound to be way better than mine:

http://coolandcollected.com/whats-in-the-box-starring-yours-truly/

http://dorkhorde.blogspot.com/2012/09/league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-weekly_11.html

http://greenplasticsquirtgun.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-me.html

http://primordialbadgersmediahoard.blogspot.com/2012/09/league-assignment-star-of-show.html

http://spacemanstar.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-ward.html

This Week's League's Assignment: Realty TV Treasure Hunters

This week's assignment from The League Of Extraordinary Blogger is a real simple one for me. The assignment:

Pawn Stars, American Pickers, Hollywood Treasure, Storage Wars, Toy Hunters, Auction Hunters, Auction Kings — the list of reality TV treasure hunting shows goes on and on. If you could spend a week with the crew from one of these shows (or one that I missed) who would it be?

I almost went with Comic Book Men on this one cause I could totally see myself hanging out with Walt, Mike, Ming and Bryan, but then I realized, this is a TV Treasure Hunters question. So, with that in mind, I'm going to go with the show about 90% of The League is probably going with

Storage Wars is the first of these Treasure Hunter shows I got hooked on and it's the one I watch still more than any of the others. I love watching to see what these guys are going to bid on, what they win and the interaction with each other. From Brandi getting pissed at Jarrod for bidding on crap to Dave and Darryl seriously disliking each other (which may or may not be real) to Barry just being Barry, which is probably my favorite part of the show.

Oh Barry, you crazy nut. From your dressing like a bum to you hiring psychics and then hiring a midget on stilts, the stuff this guy has pulled off from day one on the show, to me makes him the most intresting of the bunch. The thing I like about Barry the most is he's a collector and hunts to quench his hunger to add to his collection.

I like Darryl. He's a tough guy, but will drop words of wisdom when its needed. Like when Jarrod bought a locker with an empty safe, Darryl told Jarrod that the SAFE is what's going to make Jarrod money. Darryl knows the business and I think I could learn a lot by hanging out with him. I'd love to toss back a few beers with Darryl after as well.

Ok, Jarrod seems like he's a pretty cool guy whom I'd probably get along with well, but oh that Brandi. Hot, hot and too hot. I don't think I could hang out with them cause I would lose focus on biding on lockers cause I'd be too busy staring at Brandi. I do love Brandi for something other than her bodacious bod and it's because she found Megos. And not just any Megos, mind you. There was the expensive ones, in package or on card. I saw the expensive Catwoman, Wonder Woman, Thor, and one that is a white whale for me, a circle suit Spider-Man. Brandi, you make my heart sing.

Here's the reason why my stay on Storage Wars would be a short one. Dave Hester. His smug personality, his annoying habbit of bidding the price up and walking away just to assert his dominace and that skreeching YUPPPPPPPPPP of his. I probably would have stuffed him in a locker first show and that would have been it for me. He reminds me of too many people who think they are better then everyone else. But, then again, it might just be an act. Highly doubtful though.

As much as I would like to think the cast members would welcome me with open arms and teach me the tricks of the trade, I'd probably be viewed as just another threat or Johnny Come Lately. Therefore, I'd probably buy the worst locker there and I'd have to start my own show, "Mike's Bunch Of Crap" which would be cancelled in 2 weeks flat, leaving me in a roadside ditch.

I'll stick to watching the show at home, oggling Brandi like a dirty old man. Heh heh heh.

Take a look at some of the other members of the League's responses:

http://teamhellions.com/2012/06/17/the-league-xviii-reality-tv-treasure-hunters/

http://myeideticmemory.blogspot.com/2012/06/one-fun-week.html

http://coolandcollected.com/reality-tv-treasure-hunting-shows-starring-me-not-really/

http://haxbee.com/2012/06/13/the-league-reality-tv-treasure-hunters/

http://adamotomy.wordpress.com/2012/06/13/american-pickers-would-totally-throw-me-out/

http://www.lifewithfandom.com/2012/06/league-week-with-reality-treasure.html

http://shezcrafti.com/what-pickers-would-be-like-if-i-spent-a-week-with-the-hosts/