Wednesday, December 26, 2012

So, I Just Read Amazing Spider-Man #700 (Spoilers)

Today, I strolled into Midtown Comics and purchased Amazing Spider-Man #700. I was anxious to read this issue, not because the current storyline was any good. Frankly, I think it's been piss poor. Doc Ock managing to switch from his dying, decrepit body and into Peter Parker's which cause Parker to have to figure out how to switch back before his organs fail and he goes kaput. Not exactly a killer read. But, as the faithful Spider-Man fanatic that I am, I read it and held out hope that there was some big payoff that would make reading this tripe worth my time.

Epic Fail.

Not only does Dan Slott manage to keep Peter Parker from getting back into his body thus dies at the end of the issue in Doctor octopus' body, but during the fight Ock has a change of heart thanks to visions of Peter Parker's life flashing before his eyes and become his own and is now taking the mantle of Spider-Man. The Superior Spider-Man.


Do you mean to tell me that this retched person is now going to be Spider-Man thanks to a few memories? Have we not forgotten what a bastard he has been the past 50 years? The big ending I was expecting turned out to be a wet fart. Thanks Mr. Slott. You have farted on Spider-Man. Why? Because you want to make Spider-Man more like Batman? Um, hello. Batman and Spider-Man are 2 different characters. Why would Marvel allow Slott to do this? Haven't they learned with past attempts to take the mask off Parker? In the end, he has always returned to take his rightful place as Spidey.

I wonder what Peter Parker did to deserve not just dying in Ultimate Spider-Man, but in Amazing as well. Did he make fun of Mickey Mouse and that vengeful rodent order the hit?What must Stan Lee be thinking about this? All Parker has done was be the best superhero in the Marvel Universe. Now, he is dumped for a super villain all because Slott probably ran out of one liners to feed Parker.

This sucks more than Showgirls.

Well, no more I say.

As of now, I am done with Spider-Man. I was planning on picking up the first issue of Superior Spider-Man, but I refuse to support it. Not until Peter Parker is returned as Spider-Man (Come on, you know it's going to happen at some point). I will read the older stories and watch the movies for my Spider-Man fix, but I will not buy any of the Spider-Man titles going forward. As a matter of fact, most of Marvel's books haven't been that great. Avengers vs X-Men wasn't that great. The Spider-Men could have been better. Fantastic Four hasn't been good in a long time. Uncanny Avengers so far has not been a good read and I dropped that title as well. I might as well just stop buying new Marvel titles and stick to DC Comics.

Wow, Marvel has had a banner year in the comics front, haven't they? They turn Cyclops into a mass murderer, kill both Professor X and Peter Parker. What's next? Make Wolverine into a secret agent? Have Captain America turn on his country a la Sgt. Slaughter? Sometimes, I think Marvel has lost its focus. Maybe this Marvel Now thing is their way of getting it together. So far, it's not working.

A lot of people I know hated the reboot DC gave it's universe last year, but the Batman, Justice League and Green Lantern books have been good (In the case of Batman very good). I am also willing to give Superman, Aquaman and Green Arrow a try. I think DC has churned out some of the better comics the past year and I will continue to support them by buying their books. If Man Of Steel is any good, they might even be able to make a dent in Marvel Studios armor.

Don't worry Marvel. I'm not totally giving up on you crazy bastards. I still have older graphic novels to read Like Planet Hulk and World War Hulk. Plus, I do love the movies you put out. I just don't feel that you guys respected us Spider-Man fans with that craptastic storyline and I for one refuse to put up with it anymore. I have been a loyal Marvel fan since I was a kid, but until Peter Parker is back as Spider-Man , I will not buy the comics or any of the toys that come out from here on end. All my eggs will go into Batman's cowl. If it sounds like I'm whining, perhaps I am. Maybe you should have thought about it before you made this horrible mistake.

Besides I know I am not the only one who feels this way. I can honestly see Marvel taking a hit on this. Titles can lose readers, toys are left on the shelves, t-shirts and other merchandise left unbought. Profits shrinking. Joe Quesada being turned away at Space Mountain. Oh the humanity!

I am just praying that this is all just a part of a long, drawn out story line that will eventually have Peter Parker return. I am hoping that this "Superior" Spider-Man is not what we will have going forward. Only Dan Slott and the Marvel higher-ups know that for sure. I'm hoping that eventually, they do the right thing.