Monday, September 30, 2013

League Assignment: Pet Peeves

Disclaimer-The views expressed by The Sexy (questionable) Geek are solely those of the blogger and not of Brian Adams, Cool And Collected and those fine members of the League Of Extraordinary Bloggers. So, don't go after anyone if something I say cheeses you.

When our fearless leader, Brian, threw up this topic to us league members, I actually laughed out loud. The topic is pet peeves. Brian wants us to blog about what pisses us off the most. I mean, I live in New York City. There are a million things about this city that makes me want to grab the nearest person and say, "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry". From the abysmal public transportation system during rush hour to the people here that are pretty much the rude snobs they are portrayed on T.V. and movies to the cost of living here. I can write a blog just on what makes me tick about living in New York City and why I rooted for the Chitauri in The Avengers and it would be well over 1,000 words, but for the sake of Brian's topic, I will keep New York City out of it.

Instead, I will just focus on being a geek and what makes me want to go "Hulk Smash" with our fine hobby. Not that there is a lot to make me want to put my fist through a wall and say that could have been your face (Mike Nesmith reppin!), but there are enough things about it that sometimes make me want to pull my hair out so that I look like Professor X.


Lets start with one of the pillar of our collecting community and that is going to Conventions. Be it Comic Cons, Toy Shows or even Flea Markets. we all enjoy converging onto these spectaculars to add to our collections, see what sellers are selling, check out panels and maybe even run into a celebrity or two. But there are a few things that just really chaps my butt.

Lets talk about crowds. Now, I know the promoters of these shin-dings love seeing a convention hall filled wall to wall, but me? I can do without them. People, as you know, pretty much are oblivious to others at these shows and usually block aisles making it virtually impossible to pass by comfortably. When I went to New York Comic Con a few years back, Jacobs Javitz Convention Center was packed with fellow geeks and at times being able to move without having to shove past someone was few and far between. The lines at these shows are usually outrageous as well.

And speaking of some convention go'ers, would it kill you to bathe before you go out? I mean, I have never been near a Tauntaun before, but I cannot imagine a creature smelling as foul as some of the unwashed masses I have encountered at a convention or toy show. I mean, for God's sake people, I'm sure your parents would have stomped a mudhole in you and walked it dry if you walked out of the house smelling of BO, sour milk and Cheetos. There is a clip of Stone Cold Steve Austin teaching Zakk Wylde how to use soap. YouTube it, watch it and memorize it. I bet if there was a bar of soap that was made into a Transformer and limited run, you would have it. No, wait, it would probably be on your shelf.

Ever look through a long box of comic books at a show or a box of figures and then all of a sudden some idiot pushes his way into the same row either behind you or in front, which always is a treat to have someone with whom you would never share any personal space in any walk of life to have them up in your grill so close you can tell what they had for lunch last week. People, there is such a thing as being polite and waiting until someone is done. I don't think you need that copy of Archie #300 so bad that you would knock over someone to get it. Sometimes, this makes Black Friday at Walmart look like a square dance.

Going To The Movies

After almost 25 years of friendship, I am sure my buddy George is kind of sick of going to the movies with me. And for good reason. That reason? I complain about the patrons of the movie houses to no end. Going to the movies used to be such a fun experience for me and I would still rather watch a movie at a theater at my own home, but three things make me want to wish I was in my casa with my own popcorn and Pepsi with the john down the hall.

First off, there are people who still have not grasped the concept of being quiet while the movie is playing. I cannot tell you how many times I was engrossed in a picture when a group of people near me start a conversation about something that could have waited until the flick was over. Or how about the kids who think it's cool to shout, laugh or make with the funny during the movie. And it's not just the kids. Adults are also conversing during the movie and you would think they would know better, but no. They are just as bad as the kids. Makes me wish I had Cyclops's heat ray.

How about the morons who open their phone during the movie. I get that in some cases, there might be an emergency and you have to take the message. But don't sit there and keep popping open the phone just to make sure you have the high bid on a Welcome Back Kotter Lunchbox. Or even worse, actually take a call and sit there talking. Lord almighty.

And a memo to the parents who insist on taking their newborn child to the movies: Don't. Nothing irritates me more than really digging a flick then having the screams of a baby just pierce your ears. I went to see Lord Of The Rings in a movie theater in Manhattan and a woman had 4 kids with her. One of them started to scream and cry. Did she leave? No, she didn't. A bunch of us went to complain to the manager and when he went to ask her to remove the child she screamed just as loud as the child saying she didn't have to leave. She paid their tickets and babies cry. Needless to say, I left the movie before it was done and was given a voucher to come back for a free movie. The place was closed the next month.

I avoid all the mess and aggravation by going to the first showing on a Saturday morning and enjoy the movie with the rest of the early bird specials. Seeing a movie Opening Night doesn't thrill me anymore. Peace and quiet does.


I think this is the subject that aggravates me the most. I'm sure you have encountered these Rhodes Scholars from time to time, especially if you frequent various forums about movies, comics or toys. These people actually will run to a board and complain about a movie and break it down, critiquing it and complaining that Hollywood has ruined the character and how different the movie would be if they wrote, directed and starred in it. I mean, really? If you could do something better, why aren't you? Why are you sitting at home, with a can of Pringles and a warm beer and a job you probably hate, talking trash about a movie? Wait a minute, that sounds like me.

Plus, just because some of these guys, with such cool handles like Morbius666 or Captain'slog, have been fans of a particular franchise for a long time, doesn't make you the keeper of said franchise. People have opinions that differ from yours. Your opinion is not the one that matters, that would be the film makers.

You ever see a group of Fanboys rip apart a great movie like The Dark Knight or The Avengers because of one small detail? Really? Your going to say you hated a film that had a strong story, terrific acting and direction because of how Batman's voice sounded? That's ridiculous. Imagine a scene where Batman has to meet with Gordon and Dent to discuss The Joker. Don't you think if Batman used his normal voice that Harvey Dent would instantly recognize Bruce Wayne? Think about it, BatMite'sBoy.

Look, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Just because theirs differ from yours doesn't make you better than that person. And that's one to grow on.

Toy Shopping

Have you noticed that today's toys are ridiculously expensive? I'm sure most, if not all, have had that moment when you perused the aisles of Toys R Us or Target, seen a toy that you think is awesome until you saw the price.

20 bucks for a Mattel Movie Masters Dark Knight Batman figure? $12.00 for a that carded Star Wars figure of a character that was in Episode 2 for all of 5 seconds? $40.00 for a Batmobile? Really? You need to be a Kardashian to afford to add the newer stuff. It's nuts.

eBay isn't any better either. Yes, you can find a mint in package Batman Unlimited Vampire Batman for cheaper than you would pay at Toys R Us, but then there is the shipping costs. To ship that figure, it can go from $5.00 to $12.00, so that price you initially paid is now looking even more expensive than just driving to Toys R Us and picking it up.

Sometimes, I will just bite the bullet and buy the toy at retail and leave eBay for the vintage. Or just shoot myself with that same bullet after paying for the item.

Now, after reading this, I'm sure most of you are thinking that I'm going to be that angry old guy that works at Walmart, greeting the customers. And I will be, dagnabbit. (It's going to be a sweet job) But I think the points I made have are ones that most of you can relate to. Yes, I sometimes want to reenact that scene from Network and scream "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore". But after my 5th whiskey sour, I calm down and enjoy my hobby. If a hobby doesn't frustrate you, then you are not enjoying it.

I need a hug.

Here are some fellow League members and their pet peeves. Just stay out of our way and give us Twinkies, Pepsi and toys and no one will be hurt.

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